How To Improve Yourself and Your Life – Week Two

Week Twohow to improve yourself and your life

Here we are in Week Two.

Ready to learn how to reframe negative thoughts, continue to learn how to improve yourself and your life, day by day, week by week?

When you think of a big goal or dream that you want to achieve, it’s natural to think of all of the obstacles that will come your way.

Do you always ask yourself ‘What is the negative ?” Then what often happens to us, is we allow these obstacles to become so big in our minds that it stops us from moving forward. Don’t let this be you. What you practice you become.

Keep filling in your daily Check list, write One positive thing you noticed today… and write What you are looking forward to tomorrow

At the end of this week, on Day 15 it will be your first check in Day.

Day 8  How to Reframe Negative Thoughts

Get together with some family and or friends and lets have playtime today, using some positive reframing techniques.

We are going to play “Y. M. C.A.” ( see you are smiling already!)

Get up and Dance!!!

While dancing,  one of you must call out something that would be thought of as negative.  What is the negative, it’s the “I’m not good enough” thoughts”, the rest of you have to come up with a way to reframe what was said to be seen as positive – example “I am always thinking about food” – the reframe – “wow, you are an expert, you could host a talk show” -“At least you can think”

You decide how you will be affected by events. You do not have to be a victim of circumstances! You can choose to give more attention to one aspect of a situation than others.

And that is Reframing! It’s the art of choosing what to give the greatest significance to in any situation.

The purpose of reframing is not to change the subject but rather shift the persons feeling about the issue/problem.

In reframing you choose what an event means to you. When things go wrong you search for what is good about the situation and give that most attention. You look for how you can use the situation rather than be a victim of it! It’s as simple as that.

Take the daily commute as an example:

  • when I lived and worked in Capetown, we knew we were going to sit in traffic if we were not out the door and on the highway by 6:15am, it was going to take 2 hours to commute 45km. How did we use the situation instead of fretting and fuming about traffic? We decided to enjoy the forced idleness to study a language, would pack a picnic breakfast, which ever of us that was not driving got to read the newspaper aloud and feed the driver. Found shapes in the clouds. It was’t long until we began to enjoy our daily commute.
  1. Think of something you are a little unhappy about in your life.
  2. Come up with at least three ways this could be seen as a good thing.

Be outrageous, silly, creative, the purpose of this exercise is not to convince yourself to be happy about something you are not, but to recognize and increase your capacity to find the positive in any situation.

Day 9 What is the Negative

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Negativity affects us & everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life.How to Improve yourself and your life

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive.

The most basic way to create positivism in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you, let someone go in front of you at the store, ask someone how their day was, ask if you can help someone. Helping others will give you the opportunity to feel positive and shake off the negativity.

You never know people might just appreciate you in the process.

Happiness is a personal choice, made repeatedly in moments throughout the day.

Day 10 Change your Mind

Are you constantly looking around to see what others are doing, receiving, succeeding in?

How does this make you feel? Are you happy for them or do you feel a little bitter? They have all the luck. Maybe you resent them for their success?

Would it surprise you if I tell you how you feel about what others have, can be a block to you being successful.

How to Improve yourself and your life
Thoughts create the face

Here is the thing – It is difficult to become something you do not like or resent!

Your mind is what you feed it and if you are constantly and consistently complaining about others success, your mind will do whatever it can to not let you become one of them…….

Change starts from in you. If you want to become more positive, change how you word your thoughts, a stream of negative self talk will quickly erode your positive life intention.

Changing your self-talk is powerful.  To help you adopt the positive mindset. Your exercise today is –

Whenever you hear or see someone doing well, think of something nice to say, instead of cursing them for being successful.

Bless their success. Doing this often will soon tune your mind to more positive thoughts and a change of mind.

Day 11 Approve : Approved : Approval

APPROVE – to speak or think favorably of; pronounce or consider agreeable or good; judge favorably

How to Improve yourself and your life

Look into the mirror. Really look into the mirror, What do you see?

Do you just use the mirror to check how you look going out, putting on make up, doing your hair, shaving?

Do you see you in the mirror?

Do you look at you in the mirror and say to the you in the mirror “I love you”, “I approve of you”?

Have you ever done this?

Do you ever stop and give yourself approval?

How can you love and be nice to others, if or when you do not do this for yourself?

Giving yourself approval does not mean you won’t change, it just means you approve of you now and while you are making changes to you,

This exercise will take some time to get used to doing. As you become more aware of you and approve and love you, you will begin to see changes in yourself and notice the wonderful person you are.

Day 12 Judgment Day

Human beings are prone to judgment and evaluate situations and each other daily.

We call it our survival mechanism — something we do to avoid danger and prevent harm from happening to us.

However, too much judgment can be a negative thing. We all have a stream of thoughts going on in our heads all day long, if we are not careful, we can get stuck inside our own minds. This can wreak havoc on our mind and prevent us from leading the lives that we truly deserve

How to Improve yourself and your life
Fear and Insecurity

Take note of your thoughts and the things you say. Be aware when you are being judgmental, and ask yourself why you feel this way. Are your thoughts actually coming from reality, or are they coming from a place of fear and insecurity?

Once you notice yourself being judgmental, you can take action to reverse this self-destructive behavior.

Try to say at least 10 positive things about yourself and the people around you every day.

When you make an effort to find the good in people, you are training your mind to become compassionate & caring. You are creating a positive energy that will benefit yourself & everyone around you.

Day 13 What You Practice You Become

How do you think you will be different when you have “Mastered Yourself”?

Will you be happier? Have more energy? Feel better about yourself?

All of this is possible, but they become more likely if you begin to practice them, before you have Mastered Yourself.

Some ideas to practice change your life could be –

  • don’t completely change your breakfast, add a piece of fruit or take away your toast.
  • Don’t go to the gym, go for a walk for 5 to 10 minutes.
  • Leave work an hour earlier than usual.
  • Read 5 pages of positive stuff a day.
  • Say a kind word to someone having a rough day.

Here are some simple rules In order to begin practicing. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Just start. Stop judging and beating yourself up if it isn’t perfect. Remember that you’re doing is to change is more than most of the population.

Want to be happy and filled with positive energy?

How to Improve yourself and your life
Practice makes Perfect

Then practice, practice, practice, because why? Because practice makes perfect

Day 14 Visualize – See yourself …

Visualization can be applied to any area of your life

Most athletes practice running the race in their mind, before the big day, others see the play, the fight, the game :

Rather than making terrible misfortunes the barriers in your mind and dwelling on everything that could happen to hold you back, envision yourself victorious like Boxing legend Muhammad Ali. Long before an actual fight he was always seeing himself victorious.

II you can’t picture yourself achieving a goal, chances are you won’t.

The more visual you can get, the better it will work for you. Start thinking of your personal goals in life.

Spend about 10 to 15 minutes picturing yourself achieving each one. Get as detailed as possible.

Picture what you will do once your goal is reached. How amazing does it feel? How will this change the course of your life? Remember, the little details increase the likelihood of the big picture.

Get into the habit of putting a positive vision into your everyday life. Visualize yourself succeeding, achieving every goal.


How to Improve yourself and your life


Day 15  Your First Check In

Wow! for the last two weeks you have been making changes, interrupting your old patterns of thinking and building the foundations for a whole new way of relating to life, your emotions, in fact everything about you.

By the time you finish this journey, it will be as difficult to go back to the old way you thought, as it will be easy and natural to live in a way that really works for you,

Using the picture of the Wheel of life from the post The How To : Self Improvement, make a new Wheel of Life following the directions. Mark where you see yourself on the lines from 1 to 10 in each section. After your first two weeks of how to improve yourself and your life. Where are you now on Your Wheel Of Life? Compare this to where you started?




Ways to Self Improvement – I – CAN – DO

There are as many coaching ideas as there are Life Coaches, who can show you different ways to self-improvement online.

They can teach you to say I can do that, to any section of your life.

I am going to tell you about one you can use for each individual goal or inspiration you would like to achieve.

Here we go,  the I CAN DO explained

ways to self improvement

The how of I CAN DO to self improvement.

This way of reaching a successful outcome of a goal can be used on all sections of your Wheel of Life – health, family, friends, wealth, spiritual, career, leisure, relationships, lack of personal time.

Example I want to be doing more exercise.

Let’s put the model into practice

I: Investigate

What is your reason for wanting to do more exercise?

C: Current

What is your current level of doing exercise?

A: Aims

Exactly how much exercise do you want to be doing?

N: Number

What are the successful ways of increasing the amount of exercise that you have experienced or heard about?

D: Date

By what date do you want to have achieved an increase in your level of exercise?


How will you know when you have succeeded?

Once you have answered all the questions above, write out what you believe you ave agreed to do.

In conclusion

You have agreed with yourself to set a plan in place to make a change to some aspect of your life.

You have investigated why you want to do this.

You have looked at what you are currently doing.

You have agreed to what you want to be doing.

You have looked at as many ways as possible to make this happen.

You have agreed to a date this will be completed by.

You have agreed to an outcome.

Call to action

I would be really interested in hearing how you set out your plan, using the I – CAN – DO model and how successful you were.

Tell me how you said I can do this!

What challenges you faced and how you overcame them.

Ways to self improvement

Leave your comments below and have an awesome day!

If you ever need a hand or have any questions, feel free to leave them below or contact me by email and I will be more than happy to help you out.

All the best,




How To Improve Yourself and Your Life – Week One

Are you ready to do this? Ready to commit to at least 90 days? Ready to learn how to improve yourself and your life,  day by day, week by week?

how to improve yourself and your life


Your Success Calender

Make up a calendar ten (10) blocks across and nine (9) blocks down.

Number 1 to 10 across the first row, 11 to 20 next row and so on until you reach 90.

Shade in the following Days – 15, 30, 45,60, 75 and 90

Your Success Checklist

Using your Wheel of life sections below, write one goal you want to achieve beside each section.

At Number 1, It may be to spend an hour each day doing something together as a family.

Number 2 relates to a career or work something.

Number 3 lose weight, gain weight, join a gym etc

Place a tick box next to each goal and a space to make a comment of what you did. You will need 90 of these – one for each day. Mark each one as Day 1, Day2, and so on to Day 90.

  1. Family/relationships
  2. Career/Work
  3. Health/Fitness
  4. Personal Growth
  5. Money/Finances
  6. Physical Environment
  7. Fun/Joy
  8. Romance

Then under this write – ONE POSITIVE THING I NOTICED TODAY….. and leave a space to fill something in here

Then under this write – WHAT I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW……and leave a space to fill something in here.

As you tick off each of the eight and make your comments every day, cross that day off your calendar.

Day 1  Begin with the end in mind

Today it begins, this is the first day of what will be an entirely new experience for you. Where will it end?How to improve yourself and your life

Take a moment, you are now going to close your eyes & imagine that it is 90 days from today. Travel into the future until you are looking at a future happier changed you. When you are ready step into the future so you can see. Hear and feel what the future you, is seeing, hearing & feeling.

The more you let yourself get into the joyful feeling, the easier you will be able to return to this visualization again & again during the 90 days. Each time you return to this visual you are programming your mind for success.

Day 2  A picture of success

Today take some time and find a picture of something or someone that inspires you. Place it somewhere you will see it every day. Whenever you need an extra shot of determination or courage, look at your inspirational picture to remind you of “success”How to improve yourself and your life

As we look at a picture of someone reaching their goal, our own resolve and will to win is strengthened.

Day 3  Do something you have been putting off

You have been procrastinating about….. How to improve yourself and your life

  • Cleaning out the clothes in your cupboard,
  • Clearing out the garage,
  • Getting rid of the boxes of stuff you have been carting around forever.
  • Clean the oven

These are the jobs we hate…..

Day 4  Accept yourself

By focusing on our future goals, it can seem we are rejecting who we are in the present. This is not so. Take some time to stand in front of a mirror and send love and approval to yourself. Acceptance does not mean you do not want to change something, it just means you are willing to accept where you are now is where you are today.

Day 5  The best year of your life

Chances are if you are using your daily sheets, you have already decided its time for a change. You may not have realized that you are more than likely thinking too small…….

Here is anther visualization for you to practice – Close your eyes and imagine it is a year from now & you have had the best year of your life. What must have happened for that to be true? Be very specific about each area of your wheel of life.

It is important to be very clear, Take your time and imagine your life has become outrageously better, go for it imagine BIG! Then during the day spend time thinking about how fantastic your life can be, do this every couple of hours to get the feelings and thoughts ingrained in your mind.

Day 6 An attitude of gratitude

We can get so caught up in our own worries and concerns, that we forget to see all the good things we have in our lives.

This evening before we go to bed, we are going to spend some time writing down three things we are grateful for in our lives.

You will have the day to think about the good things happening around you & to you. Today you will be aware and watching to see what you can write.

Start your sentences with Today I am grateful for ……….

how to improve yourself and your life

Day 7 Review and Renew

This is the seventh day, today take some time and reflect on how far you have come, re-focus on where you are heading.How to improve yourself and your life

Today it is time to review and renew…. write your answers

  1. The best things that happened this week were:
  2. My biggest challenges this week were:
  3. I did these things for the first time:
  4. What I learned was:
  5. My three top priorities for the week ahead are:
    • a
    • b
    • c

Week 1 Completed

How are you feeling after all of your achievements of the last seven days? Ready for the next seven days?

I will be following up with the next seven days in a new post, so watch for it.






The How To : Self Improvement

Life coaching is a conversation. Life coaching is a set of tools. Life coaching shows the How To of Self Improvement. I believe everyone should have access to these tools. Then they have the ability to have these conversations with themselves or another, using the tools to become the best they can. Using the Power of U.

teach yourself how to self improvement

Become Your Own Life Coach

Life Coaching is a recipe with only a few ingredients. It is a magical dish. The ingredients are :

The G.R.O.W Model “GROW” being the mnemonic that defines a framework for analysis. This can be prefixed with a “T” becoming a “TGROW” model. The GROW model was devised by John Whitmore and can be found in his book “Coaching for Performance” The acronym TGROW is as follows:

  • T is for TOPIC – this is the general problem-space a person wants to explore through coaching. Such as social life, career, quitting a habit or just a general sense of dissatisfaction, with many topics to work on.
  • G is for GOAL – to turn a problem statement into a positive desired outcome, then to embody this into a goal. The goal should be as real and specific as possible, and ideally will be S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, action-orientated, realistic & time-specific)
  • R is for REALITY – to explore the problem-space’ as defined by the Topic and Goal, and other aspects of your life to gain a fact-based & current understanding of how things really are, now.
  • O is for OPTIONS – to find a set of options that are available to you, which may move you closer to your goal.
  • W is for WILL – from the list of options, select those that you will commit to doing.

The GROW model is just a general framework, which cannot always be operated strictly in the order as listed here, but each element should be visited at least once.

Over time as reality meets theory & as insights arrive, goals can be revised, slightly or radically, with even the Topic being replaced.

Personal Growth Self Improvement

Life is Learning. Life is Change. Life is Challenge.

the how to self improvement

You need to establish what your reality is today, then clearly define what  your aims and intentions are for the future.

Produce a plan of action, that you can follow with confidence. In other words sort out your priorities in life, set up some goals and achieve them. Much of the work is about building up your self belief, bringing out your talents, some of which will be underused or hidden.

Your Wheel of Life

I tried to put a template in but have not worked out how to do this yet – so I will explain and hope you can follow.

Draw a large circle, Divide it into eight (8) sections, then draw 9 circles inside the large circle, each one slightly smaller. Across the center line on each circle starting from the smallest, number the circles 1 to 10.

Label each section of the Wheel from the Life Parts listed below. Then using the scale 1 to 10 indicate where you feel you are in your life/work. One (1) being low – Ten (10) being high.

  • Family/relationships
  • Career/Work
  • Health/Fitness
  • Personal Growth
  • Money/Finances
  • Physical Environment
  • Fun/Joy
  • Romance

Now connect the dots, or colour each section to the line you feel you are at. What is the shape of your wheel? Wheel of Life How to Self Improvement

Would this Wheel give you a smooth or rough ride in Life?

Personal Development Goals

To get to your personal development goals, here is your next task.

Creating your Future Self ….. Your Vision

Answer the following questions as honestly and as fully as you can.

  1. What do you really, really, really want?
  2. What do you see your future self looking like?
  3. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
  4. What is your passion?
  5. Where do you see yourself in – 1 year – 5 years – 10 years?
  6. Which possible self do you want to avoid?
  7. What do you have in place to make sure all of this happens?

Creating Your Vision

What do you really, really, really want – reflect on all parts of your life and work. Revisit your Wheel of life

how to self improvement

Write what you want from Life ….

Write what you want from Work……

Complete the following activity –

A) Visualize Not always easy, try to get a picture in your head, your thoughts of what your life/career would look like.

  • What would you be doing?
  • Where would you be working?
  • Where would you be living?
  • What would you be wearing?
  • What would your life be like when you successfully complete this goal?

B) Now, Write it all down. Writing it out makes it more real to you. Take it out of your head and put it down on paper.

  • What does this life/career look like?
  • Describe what you would be doing at this work, where you would be living.
  • What would your life be like when you successfully complete this goal?

C) Tell someone you trust about your vision, your idea, your plan as this creates some accountability. Ask them to check on you to see how you are doing. It creates a buddy system.

D) Memorize it Make it Yours!

You have to believe that you are going to reach this life/career goal so memorize what you have written. Get it into your subconscious, make a vision board with pictures. You are more likely to begin to behave as if you are there or are on your way if you have a visual goal in your subconscious. Every day tell yourself you are the best, describe your new life to yourself, your buddy. Make it Yours!

Good Luck making a vision board of  your personal development goals.





The 80 / 20 Rule Acknowledged, Understood, Explained & Applied

Everyone has heard of the 80 / 20 rule or ‘The Pareto Principle”.

The Pareto Principle so named after the founder, the Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto (1848-1923).80 20 rule explained

Pareto explained how only 20% of his pea pods produced 80% of his garden peas. Then around 1895, Pareto used this principle to reveal an uneven and predictable distribution of wealth. He noted people in society appeared to divide into, (his words) the “vital few” or top 20% in terms of money & influence and the “trivial many” or the bottom 80%. This still holds true today.

This became Pereto’s Distribution, Pareto’s Law or the 80/20 Principle, was first published in his seminal work, in 1897, “Cours d’economie politique”

A Seminal work, may describe a study that changes our understanding of a topic, or describes and illustrates a new and highly useful research method. He put forth that his principle could be applied everywhere.

Understanding the 80 / 20 rule

We can take the 80 / 20 rule and apply it to any situation. If we can understand the principle we can learn to prioritize our tasks, our days, our ideas, our goals, our expectations.  Explain the 80 20 rule

The numbers don’t have to be “80%” and “20%” exactly, and these values are not significant, they could just as easily be 60% and 10%. It is a rough guide about typical distributions and the fact that there is a considerable disproportion.

The key point of the 80 / 20 rule is that most things in life (effort, reward, output) are not distributed evenly – some contribute more than others.

The 80 / 20 Rule Explained

We could start with this comment, ” 80% of what we do is really rather pointless” because 20% or any effort will give us 80% or the result we are looking for……  example 80 20 rule

I work five days a week, therefore based on 80 / 20 only one of these days is actually productive, so I decided to track my work and see if this was correct. It quite blew me away to discover that, yes, most of my productivity is centered around one day, the other days are a lead up and a close down.

I started to do a bit of research, into the 80 / 20 rule and found some interesting comparisons, here are a few

  • 80% of output comes from 20%of input
  • 80% of profit comes from 20% of product & customers
  • 80% of all consequences come from only 20% of causes

How can I apply this 80 / 20 rule?

Are you ready to examine yourself, your issue, your frustrations? If so, ask yourself……

  • Which of your current efforts are giving you an 80% result of your desired outcomes and happiness?
  • Which of your current efforts are causing you 80% of your problems and unhappiness?

These are not guesswork questions, you have to sit down and write your answers honestly. Write an overview of how you really, actually spend your time.

Record everything you do, then analyze each step of each task listed and ask yourself the two questions above in the context of the tasks you are analyzing. You should find this a very interesting exercise.

My 80 / 20 rule example

Here is my analogy of the 80/20 rule ,which is, it’s not about what happens during your day, it’s all about how you deal with what happens each day.

Or 80% of what happens during the day you have no control over
and the 20% is how you deal with the 80%.

Or 80% of all consequences come from only 20% of causes

This is the Scenario I like to use as an explanation:-

– the family are sitting around the table having breakfast, mum,
dad, Mary & Tommy. Tommy reaches across the table and spills his glass of
milk – what happens next?

Mum jumps up, yells at Tommy, grabs a cloth starts to soak up
the milk, all the while berating Tommy. Mary sneaks away from the table,
Dad tells mum to stop shouting at the child, mum turns on dad, Tommy is crying.
Everyone leaves the house in the morning in bad moods, upset and unhappy……

……you can complete the rest of this scenario, kids late for school, dad in minor accident driving angry…..

Mum jumps up, quickly clears up the spill, tells Tommy it’s OK sweetheart, it’s all sorted. Disaster is averted, mess is cleaned up quickly. Everyone finishes breakfast and leaves for school and work happy.

The 80/20 rule my way!

HOW DO YOU USE THE 80/20 Rule in your life?

Remember – 80 percent of the issues we have with others are our own internal battles. 20 percent are actual relationship issues.

Quote of the day!

“Man is not disturbed by events, but by the view he takes of the event!” — Epictetus

Feel free to leave a comment below on what you think of the 80 / 20 rule and how you use it or don’t….






The Power of U

The power of u.

the power of u self improvement

Have you thought of how to turn each day into your personal development plan.

It all starts with the 80/20 theory.

it’s not about what happens during your day. It’s all about how you deal with what happens each day.

This is the Scenario I like to use as an explanation:-

– the family are sitting around the table having breakfast, mum, dad, Mary & Tommy. Tommy reaches across the table and spills his glass of milk – what happens next?

Mum jumps up, yells at Tommy, grabs a cloth starts to soak up the milk, all the while berating Tommy. Mary sneaks away from the table, Dad tells mum to stop shouting at the child, mum turns on dad, Tommy is crying. Everyone leaves the house in the morning in bad moods, upset and unhappy…… you can complete the rest of this scenario, kids late for school, dad in minor accident driving angry.

example 80 20 rule unhappy family


Mum jumps up, quickly clears up the spill, tells Tommy it’s OK sweetheart, it’s all sorted. Everyone finishes breakfast and leaves for school and work happy.

happy family 80 20 rule


The 80/20 rule.


HOW DO YOU USE THE 80/20 Rule in your life?